Academic Writing - Revising Sentences for Conciseness

 

Conciseness is expressing what needs to be said without unnecessary words. Once a draft manuscript is ready, sentence-level editing may be required to reduce redundant and superfluous content.

5 Techniques to Identify and Remove Redundant Words and Phrases

Word-choice and the number of times an idea is repeated can create local and global redundancy within a sentence.

Example: Expectations from school leaders in such an environment is not just about managing the day-to-day operations of the institution well but also to proactively anticipate and implement reforms that can support and promote the learning process of a heterogeneous learning community.

Revised: School leaders in such environments are expected to not just manage their institution’s daily operations, but also proactively anticipate and implement reforms that enable heterogeneous student communities to learn.

In the revised sentence redundant words (e.g., support and promote since reform implies a similar meaning) and long phrases (e.g., day-to-day with daily) were either removed or modified. These actions reduced the sentence length and improved its readability. To be able to make such changes in a sentence, apply any of the following five techniques to edit a sentence.

 

 Check the beginning and ending phrases of sentences 

Sometimes in long sentences, these two parts may be worded differently, but convey similar meanings. In such sentences, simply changing the beginning or the end could improve the conciseness of a sentence. 

 

 Use the ‘Find’ option 

The find option available in writing software, like MS-Word, can be used to identify the number of times a key word or phrase is repeated in a sentence and the entire manuscript. Reducing (learning in the example shared above) or rephrasing (e.g., support and promote to enable) repetitions can resolve redundancy. 

 Pay attention to transition words and phrases 

The lack of transitions, words that are used to link one sentence to another, can make reading time-consuming, as additional effort would be required to establish the connection between sentences. Similarly, inappropriate transition words can also affect the readability of a sentence. Particularly pay attention to words or phrases like, although, as well as, basically, for example, firstly, finally, in addition, since, while. These words, have a tendency to increase the length of a sentence.

    Edit very long sentences 

In formal writing, the use of bulleted lists are restricted, so there is a tendency to list all key findings in a sentence. 

Example: Inclusion in such a learning environment is a challenge and gives rise to the following issues: retention after identification and enrolment, capacity building, accountability, assessment procedures that measure qualitative and quantitative progress, assistive technology and the associated costs, infrastructural barriers and funds allocation.

However, readers often skim through such sentences and miss the knowledge shared in them. So, lookout for sentences that are longer than 30 words. Consider listing only three key terms, preceded by ‘such as’ or ‘like’. Or divide the long sentence into short declarative sentences and support these statements with appropriate examples. This will highlight both the relationship between the key term shared and the issue being discussed and the author’s subject matter expertise.

    Use proofreading tools 

The developments in artificial intelligence have given us various editing and proofreading software such as, Ginger, Grammarly, and ProWritingAid that have rephrasing options. These tools can be used to improve the language and structure of sentences.

Lastly, be aware that sentence-level editing can sometimes alter the meaning of a sentence and separate it from the argument presented in a paragraph. One way to ensure that the flow and continuity between sentences is maintained is to constantly verify the edited content against the title or subtitle. Taking breaks between reviews and conducting multiple reviews can also help detect and fix flow and continuity errors.